What makes a good discussion?

Today, one of my MBA colleagues called up. Since, I was getting a call after a long time, I was excitedly telling him about what has happened so far when the discussion reached to reality prices. I told him me neighbors' have rented their house for about Rs.2.5L per month. Now that's too much. But they seem to be some firang family, who can afford to pay so much of price. As soon as I mentioned it, pat came the reply from my caller the real estate prices in India will drop by more than 20% soon. There will be a bubble burst. Now that sounded like an excited piece of topic to be discussed but only if there were 2 sides to a discussion. As soon as the discussion started it seemed more like one person talk. He definitely had a lot of knowledge and idea about it. He was definitely more well read. I tried to say my perspective to be immediately countered by the statement that's not the only thing that determines. Perhaps, he is right. Perhaps, I have no idea about it at all. But what calls for a good discussion? Something, in which all parties participate and the other whose point may not be strong does not feel discouraged. I felt discourage by the discussion to the extent that I did not want to discuss it. I was just listening to it have a good perspective about it. Perhaps, I was wrong and my ego was hurt that how can someone say I am wrong. But at the same time, I expected the other person to carry on a discussion in such a manner that other people do give it a thought and listen to it and don't feel hurt.

I suppose that's what happens most of the office meetings also. People who are the loudest are heard the most. People who are quiet kinds are suppressed and over a period of time an inferiority complex is developed which hints at – you are stupid and hence keep your mouth shut and let others talk. But that's not how people learn. A leader is one who encourages people to listen and talk at the same time. One who develops the confidence of others. Why do people forget that they alone cannot run the show. They need help of people who can work for and with them.

So some point of lessons from my own experience about how to have a healthy discussion:

1. Be a GOOD GREAT listener : Before one can say something, its important to listen to the other person and UNDERSTAND what is he saying. Just be mere hearing won't get you anywhere as that ways, you will tend to agree with whatever he is saying. But one needs to counter at times to fool proof a plan!!
   
2. Everyone need NOT speak : It's not necessary that you have to speak every time. Everyone does not know everything. May be next time, you will know more than the speaker this time.
   
3. Be Prepared : Whatever be the topic of discussion, make sure you have some background knowledge on that. Speaking in the air , wont fetch you any credibility.
   
4. Numbers take you places : If you have some statistics to make your point, nothing like it. There is nothing else more reliable than those percentages.
   

All the above were from the listener perspective but as a person who is speaking, there are some points you also need to remember. Why? To make sure you have thought about every aspect- its important that people question you. Anyways, some points for you :

1. Be a GOOD GREAT listener : If someone has raised a point against you, listen him out even if he is wrong. Let him finish. May be the point may be not relevant but that point may make you think about something which might be relevant.
   
2. NEVER discourage other people : If someone is saying something, don't discourage him by saying he is wrong – explain your perspective. If you discourage him once, you have discouraged him forever. Don't tell him he is wrong. Explain him why he is wrong.
   
3. BE POLITE : Nothing can beat this. Its your politeness that will take you places and make people hear you accept you whenever you speak. Never say 'NO' or 'YOU are WRONG'. Instead use more polite language like – 'PERHAPS, you MEANT THIS..' et al.
   
4. DON'T SHOUT : Don't be loud to prove your point. It creates a bad impression that he has not concrete things to say but by being loud he is trying to make his presence felt.
   
5. Develop a comfort zone : Its important people have developed some level of comfort with you – which can only happen if you listen to them, appreciate them and make them feel important!!
   

These are some of the BASIC things one needs to keep in mind. I will update this post when I come across more things. Till then HAPPY DISCUSSING!

Things to do after interview

Tomorrow I have an interview with one of the foreign banks for the post of Business Analyst. It is a telephonic interview with, I think, some manager. They wanted people who have exposure in some high fundoo things in Finance. But considering the bank was my client in one of my projects I did, so they assumed I have some experience. So, I am sitting down today and studying all these Finance things – they sound pretty interesting but I don't know why I lack confidence. I need to believe in myself and my capabilities. Like my bestest friends always told me – "You are intelligent. Be confident. Believe in yourself and prove it to them you are no less". So that's what I need to do.

Anyways, my reasons of writing this is different. While I was studying my subjects, I was getting the urge to do certain other things. But I am holding myself back thinking , let me clear my interview and then take those things as reward. So those things are (not necessary in this order) :

1. Watching complete season 5 of '24'
   
2. Make a CD of all good music for my mom.
   
3. Listen to Music.
   
4. Read 'Pour Your Heart Into it'
   
5. See what happened to my buying Clutch Auto shares.
   

Will add onto this list as and when it happens! J

Review : Pagalguy Rankings

Recently, Being an alumni of a reputed B-School in India, I received a mail from the PR cell of my college saying :

"Dear All,

I want each and every student/alumni of [name of my B-School] to participate in this ranking process by Pagalguy. I believe every B-School student is aware what these Pagalguy rankings mean to the reputation of his/her college. So without further emphasizing the importance of these rankings I urge you to participate in this process by visiting the following link:

http://rankings.pagalguy.com/

The reputation and popularity of our institute is in the hands of every individual who's associated with our institute and not the job of just a handful of people. I believe the lackluster participation in this survey would not be repeated this year.

Thanking you for your support.

Student PR Cell"

Considering I am one of the loyal student of my school and want it to achieve as much fame as possible, I visited the website and did fill in the survey. The first stage is a 2-step procedure:

1. Some 100 B-Schools are mentioned out of which I am supposed to strike out 15 schools which should NOT be included in the rankings.
   
2. I was suppose to order some 5-6 criterion which I think are important when one selects a B-School.
   

First, how are there 100 schools selected? As per the administrator – the schools were selected depending on its brand value all over India. I am assuming they would have definitely a done survey beforehand to know what is the brand value of the various schools.

Anyways, when I started selecting those 15 schools, I realized a pattern – I tried to select the first 15 schools. And not select them randomly. And its only after I have selected the first 15 ones that I was supposed to review- then I added or removed a few of them. So I suppose the first 15 of them, unless they are exceptionally well, are really at a disadvantageous position.

Secondly, Is this survey not a measure of how many people vote against a B School than for a B School. Even when elections happen, people tend to vote for a person. If he is voting against a person, it's not because the voted person is better but that he does not want the other to win. To what extent is this logic right in saying, it's the right B School. It's just about sending mails like one sent by my PR cell and seeing – how many of us can access the net and vote! The more the student base the more higher the rank will be of my B School.

The other thing to notice is – The top league IIM's and all can be assured of their place as no student from any other school will vote against them. But again within the IIM's there will be definitely a competition of which IIM is better. So the only way IIM K (say) can get ahead of IIM I (say) if students of IIM K vote against IIM-I. Now this will mean some 200 points will be earned by 'K' and not by 'I', which gives it a better position than 'I'. But 'I' can be assured that it will remain in top B Schools because there are people outside IIM's that will definitely not vote it out.

Similarly when I was voting, then I was making sure that I vote against B-Schools which were closer to my rank last year. But again, if all B Schools start doing this then it will come out to who has maximum number of student base to vote against the other..

I am not sure thus to what extent is this ranking correct and honest and correct indication of the B Schools!

Children’s Day out…with Family – Part One!!

What a day it was – Outing with our family. Everyone was having so much of fun that there was nothing else on their mind but enjoying the moment to fullest!

20^th June 2008,Friday night around 10:15 pm – My cousin gives us a surprise and comes to our home with his mom. I was so glad to see him. Hugged him and felt good that he was here. He had come because he had some work with dad. I was having dinner with my brother and his friend, who had come to spend the weekend with my bro. As soon as I finished my dinner, sat with my cousin to talk idhar-udhar ki with my parents and my aunt. All out of nowhere, my dad tells me that we are going to a Fun Park in Bahadurgarh tomorrow. I was taken aback since I did not know all that was happening. I was not very keen until I was told there are water games there. Now that got me excited. Since the time I have learnt swimming, I enjoy water a lot – though I hardly drink one glass of water for weeks J .

21^st June 2008, Saturday night around 8 pm – I had gone out with my folks for some grocery shopping. We came back at around 8 to see my brother and his friend not at home. Initially, I thought they have gone out to have some fun. But then our maid tells us – my brother has gone to drop his friend at the bus stop because he is leaving… WTH. I thought his friend was staying with us for the weekend and will come with us to the water park. So, I called up my brother to ask him what is happening. He said, when his friend came to know there is a family outing on Sunday, he wasn't very comfortable in this family outing of ours, so, he decided to leave. I asked my brother what's your problem – why did you let him leave and for that matter why did you take him to the bus stop. You should have told him he is not leaving what so ever. My brother said he tried to convince him but his friend refused. Now, I can understand his friend might feel awkward in this family outing but there will be 9-10 kids of our age and he won't feel left out. I felt bad that his friend had to leave so I told my brother - nothing doing. He will come with us. I asked him to call his friend and tell him to get off the bus and you get him back. After a lot of convincing he finally came back. Thank God! So that means, our outing was on track. Before sleeping dad told us next morning we leave by 9 am.

22^nd June 2008 , Sunday Morning - It was 8:30 am and I was still sleeping – I am one lazy person pampered by my parents. But folks know in total I take only 45 minutes to get ready so they also let me sleep. But I did manage to get up by 8:45 am. I thought I will burn a CD with good music from my computer. I asked my brother to help me. But he sat on the desktop playing games. I said can you help me please – he said yah yah and kept playing his game and then my fuse blew up. What the hell was that? I am asking for his help and he is more keen on playing his some stupid game. Why does he not get his priorities right in life. I said to hell with it – now you listen to all the crap in the car. So the day not start on a good note with me pissed off at my brother.

Still, I got ready by 10:30 – packed up all my stuff. And we all left by around 10:40.

Dad decided to take a new route this time and as expected we got lost. We crossed the entire Dwarka – Sector 23,24,25, 7 , 9 – Agarsen, AFNO Society et al. Dad kept on asking people for directions on the way and after sometime it seemed we were on the right track. There were 4 other families from different parts of Delhi coming to the fun park – Dad's both younger brothers with their families ( 4 adults + 4 children) , Dad's NRI sister and his husband (2 adults) and Dad's cousin brother with his grandson and granddaughter ( 2 adults + 2 small kids) and of course my grand mom (1 adult) . So in total we were 11 adults, 9 children, and one children's caretaker. Coincidentally, we all happened to be at a common point on the way where everyone got out and hugged and met on the road. Each of the children were wondering – we will be meeting anyways at the Park, so why stop in the middle of the road for this PDA – but adults will be adults ;)

On the way, it started drizzling and we all fell in love with the weather. Its going to be an awesome time doing water games while its raining…Hey but wait – do they allow water games in rain. I hope they do. We all were hoping that rain does not spoil our fun and then rain god decided to listen to us and it stopped raining and it became so hot and humid!

Ultimately, we all reached at the fun park by 12:30 or so. None of us have had breakfast so we all went to the dining room there and had a complete meal there. I had 'Pritam's chole puri' after a gap of about 4 years. Wow – they still tasted yummy! With all our stomach's full with the heavy meal, we went for rides. There were dry and wet rides both. We all thought we will first go for dry rides and then get into water.

So now, first we started with some simple single rail kind of slow ride in which two people can sit and they have to ride it about 10 ft above the ground. I sat with my 'healthy' cousin with our nephew between us. Me and cousin started to pedal and in between I started to get scared as it seems it was not balanced and it might fall down. Still I decided to keep cool and kept cycling till we reached the end and it was a relief. Surprisingly, it was a very slow ride not giving you any turns or curves but still I was scared of it. I have taken far much more worse rides in my life. But it was over.

Next we tool some 'Mary go round' kind of stuff in which the operator said only one person per seat. Hmm.. Now no options – I shouted, screamed .. Why? Because it helps me not getting scared! Hehe J So, had a good time on that. But after it got over, I was spinning but not feeling unwell. I was okay. Now, immediately they said lets sit on the other slide. Now that was again one seater and was plane kind of seat and took revolutions. I sat on it..and something did started happening in me – I realized I was feeling a little giddy but ignored it and kept shouting. It got over and I was little not well. Feeling heavy and thought might puke and dint want to go for another ride. But my brother pushed me to Columbus and I thought I have never puked before and I will be okay – just keep shouting… And the Columbus started moving – After about 4 swings – I puked and puked and puked… Oh boy…all my breakfast was out and I was so embarrassed. After seeing me – my dad also started puking ;) And then he finally stopped the Columbus and I was feeling so relieved but bad. Obviously who would like it. Then I went to wash room and washed my face and wet my hair. Was feeling very better. I was continuously telling myself – I should not have taken the swings immediately after my meal. It was the most stupid ting to do.I was really cursing myself. But then, it's okay – lesson learnt!!

Now it was time for water games….That will be part 2!! J

Some ‘Peace’ of Advice

I received this forward from one of my cousins yesterday as a means of receiving good luck if I forward it to x number of people. As I read the mail, it turned out to be indeed good. And I thought, if I do forward it to people they will learn a lot from it and I will get to do some good. So, forwarding mail to get good luck isn't exactly a flawed concept. The only problem is when then mention that if you DON'T forward it, you will have bad luck for so many years. Anyways, just thought it's too good a mail to be kept to myself. So here are things which might bring peace in one's life :

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.


FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX.. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.


EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson .


SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Ten Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

Source : http://www.bluinc.com/free/human10.htm By Cherie Carter-Scott

Awesome Quotes

I was reading this book about some months back and there were quite a few snippets from the book which struck a chord with me.

• Life is a series of messes. But a lot of what we ascribe to is NOT LUCK at all. It's seizing the day and accepting responsibility for your future. Its seeing what other people don't see and pursuing that vision, no matter who tells you not to.
  
• In daily life, you get so much pressure from friends and family and colleagues, urging you to take the easy way, to follow the prevailing wisdom, that it can be difficult not to simply accept the status quo and do what's expected of you. But when you really believe in yourself - in your decision - you just have to do everything you possibly can to take control and make your vision a reality.
  
• Whenever a company or person emerges from the crowd and shines, others are quick to attribute that prominence to good fortune. The achiever, of course, counters that it's the product of talent and hard work.
  
• While bad luck may come out of the blue, good luck comes to those who plan for it.
  

Left or Right??

Is the Girl moving in clockwise or anti-clockwise direction?

1. For people seeing in Clokwise Direction : concentrate on the girl and make her move in the counter direction. 2. For people seeing her moving in counter-clockwise direction : Read the instructions in Step 1.

It all depends on how you see it - Perception is the key word!

Picture Courtesy : http://www.funnyphotos.net.au

Review : Redbus.in

Recently I had to visit Vaishno devi with the family on the weekend. I tried to book the Tatkal tickets for the same but they also had waitlist upto 4. Being weekend, we thought it will be difficult to get the ticket for Bus also. Nevertheless, I thought why not try calling up these bus operators and ask them. So, google.com helped me in finding 'some' (read 2-3) bus operators that included Delhi,Haryana Roadways. Now, the problem being - they dont book the tickets on phone. And there is no online facility to block the tickets. I have to goto ISBT, and see if the tickets are available and then board them else come back home purchasing tickets for some other day. But we did not have any other day since my brother had office from Monday.

So, by chance I stumbled on the sponsored link of my search - RedBus.in. It was like something I had wished for had come true. Online Bus booking facility. WOW. What else can one ask for. But again online it said, all buses full so I called up the call centre just for reconfirmation. After 1 hour of persuasion, I managed to book 4 tickets for AC Sleeper bus from Delhi to Katra and AC Volvo Semi Sleeper from Katra to Delhi. I thought all done and was thanking Redbus.in and was planning to recommend it to everyone once I am back.....

But unfortunately, the buses that were booked were AWFUL, to say the least. The time of reporting was told us at 6 pm from CP and till 6:30 there was no bus on the designated location. And when it did arrive after much calls to the mobile number mentioned on the ticket it stopped for 2 hours at Meena bazaar, near Old Fort for 2 hours. It stopped there because bus was not fill to its capacity and needed more passengers whereas I was told the bus is all full and there is no seat. It did not move until the bus got the passengers which was at 9:30. On top of that the bus did not have complete papers and we were stalled at Jammu for about an hour and had to cover the remaining journey in a non ac bus. The whole journey took us about 18 hours to reach Katra whereas usually it takes maximum of 13 hours!!

Thanks to the bus 'RedBus.in' had booked and their association with Heera Travels.

The story is not over yet. On the way back, reporting time was 7:30 and the bus was not did not move until 8:30 and then the bus broke down and took an hour to repair. And the Volvo was
pathetic. It was shaking and trembling which spoilt the night journey experience. None of the passengers in the bus was able to sleep in the 12 hours journey thanks to the wonderful bus these people have. On top of that, it dropped us mid way at ISBT and not from the point where it picked us from and we had to travel in the auto to back to source destination.

I was so annoyed but the whole thing. And I thought whats the point in having such a service when they can assure us a good journey? I mean their job does not end by just providing an online facility. If the buses they have association with are not good, why will anyone book the ticket with them in the first place.

I think redbus.in has stuck upon a very innovative idea of providing online booking facility for bus. But if they dont improve the bus operators they are associated with, I am sorry to say but it will be another failed opportunity.

At the end..You are alone..

After all at the end of day there
is no one...nobody but you and you ONLY!!

"We're born alone, we live alone,
we die alone"

but at the same time

"Pray that your loneliness may
spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for"

Every dark cloud has a silver lining!!

What can possibly beat this beautiful dusk at my home?

Afterall, I am an Engineer!!

4 months- damnit 4 months devoid of Technical problem - something that has been a part of me for the past 8 years!! Today I forayed in it again -
"Do u know how to find if a no. x is a power of 2? (in one line of C code) ??"
.....And I was lost.

I thought- "Come on its a kiddie. Don't tell me I can't do it - But in actuality, yah I CANNOT do it.. :( "
Come on - I did not want to use google. I cannot ditch myself. I have to to it. I WANT to do it...!!

Took hints and voila - EUREKA - i did it all by MYSELF and then came the high of my last 3 months...

"The high i used to get as a child when i first learnt to swim, or cycle, or top score in a game is also nowhere close to comparable to solving any damn tech problem"

Sleepless Nights..

I cherish my sleepless nights,
coz,thats when I do my thinking,
When I look at the startlit sky,
seems like,at me,the stars are winking.

I dream about us,
with my eyes wide awake,
the time we were together,
throwing pebbles in a silent lake.

I lie in my bed and wonder,
how much youve meant to me,
moments with you,are as precious to me,
as the oesters pearls are,to the sea.

Your just one look is so effective,
it gives me the reason to live,
Just ask me to,and I will give you,
all that I can give.

You are the one I always wanted,
where were you all this while?
I thank god for being so kind,
coz you are the reason why I smile!!!

- By Akriti Gupta

You are not there....!!

People change,I dont know why,
they give you pain - even if they don't try,

You know who I'm talking about,
You didin't try to hurt me-I have no doubt.

But,you are not there....!

Remember once,
you thought you'd hurt me,
and couldn't eat and couldn't stop to weep,
It gave me courage I thought we'd be friends,
In life's roads- both broad and steep.

But,you are not there....!!

I thought I could share,
with you my sorrow,
Not only today, But also tommorow...
I thought you were the best friend- I'd ever made,
But it didn't take time, for things to fade ...

And,you are not there!!!

Maybe I havent told you,
How important to me you are,
No wonder,you were here,
and now so terribly far,
Giving me troubles ,
So bitter,and yet so sour,

And you are not there!!!

Share with me your problem,
And I will try to cure,
After all,what are friends for?

But,you are not there!!!

- By Akriti Gupta

Friendship..

This is for one of my friends, to let her know I'll be here for her till the end,
No matter what she goes through
you know that i care,
and you know that i will always be there ...
God loves you, so much.
and i love you too.
i always tell you-
no matter where you are in life,
or what situation you are in,
God is always there for you.
you have to remember that because it is so true.

i really need you to remember ....
I Am Always Here For U.

I wish that you conqure all the hurdles of life and be on the top..
I wish that you get all the happiness and spread the same..
I wish that you get all the success and don't forget your roots..
I wish that you get all the love and reciprocate..
I wish that you are always there as a loving FRIEND!!!

- By Akriti Gupta, a Friend